mommy blogger

“Mama Mia”

Aiden sat on his bed, his chest heaving in and out, tears streaming down his face.

“Aiden, do you know why you’re in trouble?” I asked him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

His chubby hands, in fists, rubbed his eyes, then wiped the tears off his baby soft cheeks. “Yes, because I yelled at you. And, because I was being a loser.”

I tried to hold back the giggles… tried to keep my face stern. Gosh, that’s hard to do with toddlers.

“No, not a loser honey, a sore loser. It’s okay to lose every once in awhile. You were having fun playing Mario with me weren’t you?”

He nodded, taking a deep breath, moving over onto my lap.

“I understand you were upset that you lost, but what matters is that we were having fun.  It’s okay to be upset, but not okay to yell at mommy the way you did.  Right?”

He nodded, his breath becoming normal again.

“Okay, so I think it’s time for you to have some quiet time. And, when you wake up we can go outside and play baseball with brother and daddy, okay?”

The breaths of my four year old started to quicken again, and the tears welled in his eyes.

“But, Mommy, I want to play Mario! I promise not to be a loser again. I want to play!”

” A sore loser. And, I’m sorry honey but after the way you yelled at me, I think you need to rest and take a break from video games for awhile.”

“Mommy, I’m so sorry!” Now the tears streamed down his face and he turned. His chubby arms, still sticky with syrup from breakfast, tightening around my neck.

“I know you are buddy, thank you! But, it’s time for quiet time. I will tickle your back for awhile until you get sleepy. Would you like that?”

Grudgingly he flopped down onto his pillow.  I barely made out squeals about Mario and Bowser between the heavy sobs. I started to tickle his back for awhile; his eyelids just starting to get heavy.  I stood to stand, bent over and kissed his head and headed to the door… Now, if  i could insert music from a thriller movie I would. You know the kind that plays when you know the climax of the movie is about to happen?

“Does he want Toothy?” My husband asked from Aiden’s door. **Insert Music here**

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Aiden and his beloved “Toothy”

Aiden is sitting up, faster than you can say Mario’s phrase, “Mama Mia”.

“Daddy! Can I come back down and play Mario?”

Here it is… that moment.  This moment – right here – defines our relationship.  I know that sounds so dramatic, but I’m serious.  It defines our relationship in parenting.

I’m no parenting expert. And, I’m not about to put relationship expert on my resume any time soon – but, I do know one thing. The most important thing in any relationship transpires to the most important thing in co-parenting too. Communication. Communicating with your partner and being on the same page is good in a relationship… but, my GOD is it good in parenting… or these kids would rule us!

My husband was known as the softy. I was the bad cop, he was the good cop. Mom gave the consequences, Dad gave the warnings. But, as our babies have grown, and their little brains have figured it all out, Mom and Dad’s communication has needed to step it up a notch. We need to be one step ahead of them every single time.

With the simple words of asking if he needed his stuffed animal for nap, Aiden knows his Daddy is in the room… and, believes he has an out.  But, what this kids doesn’t know is that his Mom and Dad are one step ahead of him. We’ve learned from the past chocolate milk debacles…

“Mom, can I have Chocolate milk?”
“No, you had some with your snack.”
**Sneaks over to his dad in the other room**
“Daddy, can I have some chocolate milk?”
“Sure!”

Teaching him that what he wants he can get from Dad.
And then…

“Mom, can I have Chocolate milk?”
“No, you had some with your snack.”
**Sneaks over to his dad in the other room**
“Daddy, can I have some chocolate milk?”
“What did your Mom say?”

Teaching him that Mommy is the bad guy – And, that daddy will only say no because mommy said no.

These kids are smart, I’m telling you. They pick up on the smallest of things. And the fact that mommy and daddy aren’t on the same page makes it so easy on him to get what he wants! Not anymore little dude.

What this kid doesn’t know is that his Mom and Dad talked… Mmmhmm! While he was too busy crying and stomping his way up the stairs to his room, his Mom and Dad bettered their parenting relationship! We got down and dirty – and communicated! Together finding our “plan of attack” if you will.

“No, Aiden. It’s time for quiet time. Would you like Toothy? I have him right here for you.” Alex held out the T-Rex stuffed animal to his wide eyed son – the kid was shocked. You could see his little brain working – Wasn’t Daddy the one I could weasel my way with?

Alex put his arm around my shoulders. A united front.

“When you wake up we can go outside and play baseball with brother, okay?” A united front.

“I love you.” I said as Alex and I both walked out of the room. A united front.

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Out little 4 year old Minion!

We are both the parents. We both have a say in how we raise these little people. That’s why communication is so important. Sometimes we don’t agree on the other’s choices when it comes to parenting. But, in front of our children, we need to agree. We need to be a united front. A “team”.

We take the time, behind closed doors, before Aiden is addressed, to come together on an agreed upon plan.  I think starting this now  (while the issues at hand are small like being a sore loser and sneaking chocolate milk ) – is important. As our children grow their problems grow and being united now helps. Showing our children we are united in parenting helps.

Alex and I share a high five as we descend back downstairs. We did it right this time. We may not do it right every time. But, this time we will gladly take the win!

P.S. I went on and took another win against Alex in Mario Cart; it was a great day!!

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on ““Mama Mia””

  1. Bravo Beth and Alex. (I think you took too much joy in that second win). Is it really fair for parents to join forces against their children? Of course! Keep winning and reap the rewards of love and trust. Love you both

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful! Revel in the victories. It can bring you closer As well as test your relationship. I’m rooting For you both! Keep your sense of humor through it all too! Helps you keep your perspective. And the kids benefit EVERY time! Love you

    Liked by 1 person

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